i'm sick today

 

the fact that i am able to get up, get ready, take amazing photos, and then shuffle through the cold to get to my therapy appointment is beyond me but i am sick with a cold and never want to leave the warmth of my smoldering hot house again, sorry.

so to start, of course i cut my Deterioration shirt into a crop. surprise! even after all that personal turmoil from the Haggus shirt -.- lmao

I paired it with my holy grail pair of shorts I bought for cheap at Forever 21. They're black gingham with frilly pocket skirts and a zipper down the front. They're made from a soft stretchy cotton blend and are so so comfortable to wear, I don't think I've worn them less than twice on a weekly basis. The photo doesn't do the frilly part of the pocket any justice but it is so cute let me tell you. I also adore sewing my patches into pockets because I think it's always beneficial to have more than a few *visible* pockets.

because the snot running down my septum ring is giving me such a gnarly headache I am going to cut this blog entry as short as possible. I went on a shopping trip with my sister last week to Meadowood and bought a brand new (also my first) pair of Doc Martens. I had my eye on these for a while and once I realized they had them in a vegan selection I bought them. Then I had a tiny haul from Claires and bought tiny flower clips pictured below

 

and then because I wore this outfit to walk to my therapist's office and it's still freeeezing outside, I threw a hoodie over it with recent purchase patches from Retirement Fund.
I bought "meat is the bastard so don't eat it" and "ACAB: all catapillers are badass" (work appropriate *wink*)

well that's all i have today. my head is throbbing, i don't want to listen to music or hear any noise, not even the tapping of my fingers hitting my keyboard so goooodnight! 

it's 2 years from today, "Constant Headache" by Joyce Manor comes on. You're going to be okay, you >are< okay.

i've been thinking about blogging a lot this week. when i look back at the poems i've written on here or song lyrics i've shared that spoke to me at that place in time, i am always so happy that i posted it because: i like writing and i like sharing other written work when those words describe how i feel better than i can. but mostly i think writing and sharing songs or lyrics and even photos help me self care and practice anti-dissociative work. and this year is all about taking care of myself and learning how to do that and what it actually means to take care of yourself.

usually, i'd treat this blog as an imperative step to write with when i am anxious and i'm going to keep doing that, but i'm going to post a lot of photos ive taken and style inspirations. i'm taking a huge book on when i was 16-18 reading "style rookie" Tavi's blogger from when she was active. it's going to take me a while to figure out the outline and steps for every entry. but i want to use these entries as references to show my therapist when i need to remind myself how i felt during an experience.

so that's my introduction self-ish note. i expect myself to keep up with writing in this because of the reasons stated above. i expect myself to practice self acceptance and self growth from this blog and among other things. cool.

i'm posting this dated 3/11/18, but it's 3/12/18 for layout aesthetic reasons.